Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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