I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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