I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
