She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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