Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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