I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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