everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
