There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
