did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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