she told me i tasted like america
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
