he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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