We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
