She's JV to your varsity
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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