Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
