Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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