Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
