Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
