All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
