god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
