I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
