So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
