new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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