i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
