I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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