Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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