I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
