Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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