So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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