it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
