I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
