I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
