Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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