You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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