I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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