Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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