this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
