OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
