I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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