I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
