it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Randomize
