Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
