Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
