So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
