Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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