put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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