Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
