ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
my liver is dry heaving
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
