the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
