oh god the rape fog is back!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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