I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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