the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
