Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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